Look at you!

You look into the mirror and it’s always been you — still is you. But you feel different. Your eyes recognize themselves a little better. Your body feels more like yours. You know your way around your heart with more ease.

How did you get here?

The journey to the 23rd year brought many trials and triumphs. You felt pain like no other. For a while it seemed like you just kept hitting every challenge marker that could possibly arise at once. …

Illustration by JR Bee, Verywell

Julianna Carbonare

“The Advocate”


Career Nirvana: Coach/Thought Leader/Writer

INFJ in a nutshell

INFJs are one of the 16 personality types that make up the Myers-Briggs personality system. I’ve known I was an INFJ since I was 16 years old. I took the Myers-Briggs personality test for the first time in a high school psychology class and have always received the same result in the subsequent times I’ve taken the test over the past years. INFJs are actually the rarest of all the personality types, making up less than one percent of the world population. …

I was a dreamy kid. I loved nothing more than staring out the window of the school bus and getting completely lost in my thoughts and imagination. I’m pretty much the same way now, but I spend a little more time on earth.

I don’t think people talk about or embrace dreaming enough. We hear things like, “get your head out of clouds” or “be more realistic”. I don’t think it’s fair when people talk other people out of their dreams. It’s no one’s job to bring you back down, except yourself. …

People love you. And that’s the problem. They want to protect you, coddle you, hold your hand to the finish line. We need more of those parents that let their kids eat dirt every once in a while, and give them a high-five when they fall down.

When I moved to Madrid, my mom couldn’t understand why. She was against the decision from the beginning. We would argue, and I would feel the doubt in her mind that I could make this dream of mine a reality. But I did.

Then she would do everything in her power each month…

One rule for all relationships, lovers, friends or family — don’t skimp on the love.

I have a problem with this. I’m totally and utterly imperfect. When I’m hurt, I shut down, get cold, and want nothing to do with the world.

I’ve been trying to get better at spreading the love even when I’m not necessarily feeling it. But the thing is that love is so subjective. It can be hard to know what to do when that word is thrown around.

This month I’ve taken some time to think of what love means to me and how I…

Credit: Steve Irwin Day (Australia Zoo)

When I was in elementary school I used to watch Steve Irwin on the Animal Planet every chance I had. I made a notebook and started writing notes from his show like “Komodo Dragons. Eat meat. Have very big jaws.”

When I was in middle school I told everyone I wanted to be a TV Chef like you see on The Food Network. Alton Brown was my idol. To prepare for my future career, I spent most of my weekends cooking and baking with my dad.

In high school, I told everyone I was going to be an author. But…

Credit: NBC

The days I don’t exercise are the worst. My body feels sluggish and it can’t seem to regulate its temperature well. Maybe that’s just in my head but sweating also does something for my mental health. I feel flushed with confidence, ability, and focus. One sweat session a day keeps the blues at bay.

I can’t sleep if I don’t get my “big thing” done. That’s why I always try to start my work with the biggest task of the day. I need to go to bed with that sense of satisfaction knowing I did all I could do…

“Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti”

Every Sunday of my life I’ve eaten the same dish. A bowl of pasta with marinara sauce (gravy) and a few slices of Italian bread.

I knew the ingredients and procedure to making Sunday sauce before my parents even let me use the toaster.

At school, no one could ever say my last name right on the first try. On the first day of the year when the teachers called out attendance, I would tell them, “It’s pronounced (CAR-BO-NAR-AY) like the pasta.” That would always get a few laughs.

In my house, a stomach ache or heartburn is called agida

Shawn Hoke/Curbed Flickr Pool

“I got a masters in branding at Coca-Cola.”

It was 2007. Glacéau had Vitamin Water and Smart Water. They had quickly become the memorable, iconic beverages in every grocery store.

Glacéau did something very few had caught onto at the time — their brands spoke back to the people. When you pick up a bottle of Vitamin Water, the label makes you laugh. It put the human back in brands.

Coca-Cola saw this and wanted it. So, they acquired Glacéau for 4.1 billion dollars. And Alex Center went along with them.

He went from a young designer in a startup…

Not really. But it could help. All I know is that I was happier when I owned fewer things.

My space was always clean. There wasn’t anything to leave clutter around. My thoughts were clearer, so I stayed focused more. My little corner of the world felt like an oasis, rather than another task I had to tackle.

I wasted less time. In the mornings, I worried less about what to wear. I only owned a handful of outfits that I already knew made me feel good. I would put one on, feel great, and then walk out the door…

Julianna Carbonare

Empowerment. Capturing the journey through life, career, femininity, and more. I write about what it takes to live as your truest self.

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